The Master's Apprentice

As a student of science, I am, of course, very interested in lasers and lava. As such, I am quite fortunate to be attending New York University, home to one of the world's foremost experts in the field of lasers: Dr. Henry Brenner. He has revolutionized the field with in depth theoretical work and incredible applied usages. The military has sought him out on several occasions, and though he always serves his country when needed, he cannot be contained by their restrictions. His research will not be stifled. Through my classes with Dr. Brenner, I have learned that one must understand that lasers are not only the single greatest scientific achievement of man, but also the single most important art. There is a certain beauty and elegance that cannot be denied.
Dr. Brenner's laser research began at a young age and, in fact, he still has the first laser he designed while still in high school. A breakthrough in the field, I believe it is still more powerful than anything commercially or industrially available today.
Unfortunately, at this time Dr. Brenner is unavailable for interview. He is busy perfecting his latest endeavor and training for the next crisis.
Here are 5 interesting facts about lasers:
5. Lasers can be used to heat a Hot Pocket to incredible heats (sidenote: similar, in this regard, to lava; except lava adds much more flavor).
4. Because lasers can easily sever bone and destroy grey matter, they are excellent anti-zombie weapons, if properly used.
3. A MacGyver episode (season 5, episode 2) where he builds a makeshift laser is based on Dr. Henry Brenner's life.
2. The Vernier LabPro is compatible with several lasers and can easily complete even the most complex of experiments. Dr. Henry Brenner officially approves this device to initiate the beginner in the world of lasers.
1. Lasers make great stocking stuffers. Just keep the safety on.